Hello, my name is Malcon the Firebringer. I am widely considered the most powerful Lich in Zanzia. I was invited here by Joe Mohr to give tips to would be dungeon masters on how to baffle, confuse, torment and ultimately destroy the adventurers that plague us both. These delvers are exceedingly irritating. They kill my guests, they set off my traps (or worse….they disarm them) and they steal my treasures. I have been enduring this sort of behavior for well over a hundred years now. Ever since the time that I first tried to steal the throne of Zanzia….but I digress….
Typing on this keyboard is very difficult, by the way, for someone with bones for fingers. So excuse me if I get right to the point of the matter. Killing delvers is my passion. Total party kills especially please me. This column is here to give you advice on how exactly to bring this about in an efficient and pleasing manner.
In the coming installments of this column I am going to focus on some useful tools that you as a dungeon master will find useful in your quest to destroy those vermin that invade our dungeons and catacombs. I will also be discussing other subjects as they come into my mind that may help you cause mayhem and chaos in the lives of your delvers. I hope that you shall find this activity as amusing and entertaining as I do.
